Tubesteak Dildo by Mr Hankey’s Toys

“OI GET FUCKED” were the first words that stumbled from my mouth as I laid eyes on my next toy. The behemoth Tubesteak from Mr Hankey’s Toys had me in awe – but more importantly, I was excited.

Mr Hankey’s Toys chucked me the Tubesteak free of charge in return for this review. Check ‘em out for some of the most unique and hole inspiring dildos on the market. Be warned though, Mr Hankey’s Toys are NOT for the faint of heart.

Now we all know how my last experience ended with a toy from Mr Hankey, the El Rey was fucking huge and my butt hole still tenses up every time I lay eyes on it. I barely got it all the way in and for the first time in my life; a toy defeated me. The Tubesteak however is a different story.

BEAST!

Measuring in slightly slimmer than the El Rey, the Tubesteak is 8.5 inches in circumference and 13 inches long. Now I know, this sounds fucked up and incredibly large but remember – I’m a fan of big toys; and I am a FAN of the Tubesteak. Admittedly it did take me a good 4 months of warm ups, practice and a whole lot of stretching to get to where I am today but I am entirely ecstatic to say that I have been able to take the Tubesteak in all its glory. Yep, all 12.5 insertible inches have been inside my body and I couldn’t be happier that I made it.

Dildo riding aside, the Tubesteak is too much fun. A smooth silicone dildo at its core makes this a quality toy. Described by Mr Hankey himself, the Tubesteak “is like one big sausage” the straight shaft feels amazing as it fills my ass and the smooth texture allows plenty of lube to be applied without fear of it sliding right off. The tapered uncut head is incredibly fun to look at – I’m a big fan of uncircumcised dick so it adds to the aesthetic and honestly, more uncut dildos should be on the market people!

Tell Me More, Sis

The Tubesteak is available like most of Mr Hankey’s toys in a medium firm density or a 75% soft density. It is also available in three shades – natural tan, deep brown and black. For an extra $4.95 you can also opt for a Vac-U-Hole opening at the base. This is essential if you plan on attaching your toy to a machine or suction cup. As interested in the firm density as I was at the time of ordering my Tubesteak, I am too partial to a soft dildo and the deep brown had me intrigued. With the array of suction cups I have I was too keen on the added hole also. For a bit of added fun I also asked for a pair of Remove-O-Balls. These add certain flair to the toy and if you’re one for balls slapping against your ass, you won’t want to miss out. These suckers run for $29.95 and are 100% silicone.

Let The Water Run

Cleaning up is pretty simple. A rinse under warm water is all it takes. If you choose to use a lube like J-Lube for any of Mr Hankey’s toys you’ll notice it can take a fair bit of work to remove lube. The best method I’ve found is to coat the toy with table salt, let it soak up the lube and then rinse. This tip is also helpful for removing J-Lube and other viscous lubes from your skin and surroundings. Just don’t put salt on your genitals – that’ll fuck you up.