I’ve been blogging for nine months now and in that time I’ve had the opportunity of trying out toys I never thought possible. Until recently, I realized I had never had the opportunity of trying a Tenga Egg. That’s pretty poor form in my opinion given that they’re kind of a staple for those of us with penises.
Thanks to the lovely people at Betty’s Toybox, I received the Tenga Egg Six Pack free of charge in exchange for my honest review. Check them out for some incredibly fun toys – they ship worldwide y’all.
Now I wasn’t expecting much from these Egg’s to be honest. I’ve had a sort of love/hate relationship with Tenga products in the past so my hopes weren’t set too high. That being said, some of these Egg’s blew me away, others – not so much. Shout out to Tenga though for the genius packaging. An actual egg-carton for egg shaped toys? I am 100% here for the merchandising.
Disclaimer: Tenga Egg’s are designed to be one-use only – kind of like a wank on the go type thing. With an included sachet of lube, you’ve got everything you need for a good time. I have read about people getting more than one use out of these Eggs’s though. If you intend on getting your moneys worth, just be sure to clean after each use with an anti-bacterial toy cleaner.
Because I like simplifying things, here’s a rundown of each Egg.
Spider – The outer packaging reminds me of the 90s idealization of what the Internet was. A structure of lines all connected into one big grid, these lines though are designed to bring pleasure to the penis. Was this true? Yes. I enjoyed the Spider Egg for it’s ribbed texture and the fact that it reminded me of 90s dial-up – go figure.
Clicker – I don’t like ribbed condoms so I wasn’t expecting much joy from this one. The bumps are barely there when it comes to using it and it pretty much annoyed me. The Clicker Egg isn’t great for me but for those with super sensitive penises, I could imagine it would be fun.
Wavy – This Egg just screams chill. I couldn’t help but throw in a cooling lube (that I’d never used) when it came time to use this bad boy. Regrettably, all I ended up with was my dick feeling like I’d covered it in toothpaste. The wave texture didn’t feel all that pronounced but it was noticeable if I gave it a bit of a twist. All in all, the Wavy Egg is a whole lot of meh.
Twister – Was the first Egg I tried and it was such a disappointment. It’s basically why I was so hesitant in trying the other five. I’m glad I tried it first though because it’s a texture I’d rather forget. The Twister Egg is pretty much the lamest texture ever. Even giving it a good twist – as I can only assume is intended with its name – this Egg is lackluster and basic.
Stepper – Give me life, give me life. That’s all I could think after going a round with this guy. Unlike the similarly shaped Clicker, the Stepper is much more pronounced in detail. The bumps are larger so I was able to get a LOT more pleasure from this guy and the overall texture is just enjoyable. Downside is though; I enjoyed it too much and burst through the other end. No more steps for this guy.
Silky – I enjoyed this egg solely because of the wispy nature of its texture. You’d think my lack of an over-sensitive penis would kill the vibe of this Egg but strangely enough, the texture gets me wild. If I were to pick a favourite that my penis hasn’t destroyed as of yet, it would be this guy.
There you have it folks. If you weren’t too keen on reading all of that, the Twister Egg is awful and the Silky Egg is pure bliss. Enjoy.